Permission To Forgive Yourself Mom - A Mother's Day Gift To You

Flowers are sweet. Dinners are special. Cards and calls are endearing. A day at the spa, or the lake, or in bed (or fill in the blank for wherever you want to spend your day) is refreshing.

But my gift for you on this Mother’s Day is not tangible, frame-able, or even hash-tag-able. It is, however, priceless.

It can also be difficult, because it’s a gift you have to give yourself, and some of us are truly bad at that concept.

Do you know what I’m guilty of? Scrolling through social media and comparing my life to someone else. What? You mean, you don’t?? Well, good for you. (Even if I don’t quite believe that.)

I compare my social life. I compare my relationship (or lack thereof). I compare my contentment/happiness. I sometimes even compare my struggles.

And before you judge me too harshly, you know what many of you do? Compare your parenting style/skill/scorecard with the ‘other moms’ out there. And if you do that too long doubts will begin to form and guilt will soon follow.

You will start to ask; “Are my kids happy?” “Do I do enough with my kids?” “Should I enroll them in this/that/the other?” “Do they stay inside too much?” “Do they stay outside too much?” “What do they think of me?” “How can I buy them that outfit/phone/game that everyone else has?”

Stop already!

Are you a perfect parent? Probably not. Are the people you compare

yourself to the perfect parent? No to that as well.

Here’s the truth. We make mistakes with our kids. I did. I did when they were small children and I still do today even though they are adults. I made the wrong choice. I was selfish at times. I just simply had no idea what to do in some cases. And that’s ok. Because I know I did the best I could, with what I had, at the time.

And that’s really the key. Children are not fragile pieces of china that will break under the slightest of pressure. They are tough. They are resilient. They bounce back. And up. And down. Bouncing is literally something they do best.

The biggest thing your child needs to know is that they are safe with you, you have their back, and you love them unconditionally. The other highs and lows they work through.

Now, it is true, kids will often push back. They will rebel, complain, pressure, use guilt tactics, play one parent against the other. They are human, after all, and they want their way. They will be upset and angry with things that happen. It is ok for them to have those feelings.

What’s not ok is for you to take on the weight of all those feelings. If you specifically know of a mistake you made, and you feel it is important to own up to that, tell your child. It is a learning tool for them to admit when they are wrong and will build trust because they will know you are being fair.

They will forgive you if you are sincere with them. You then have to learn to forgive yourself.

You are not responsible for every little thing that happens in their life. And you are not obligated to provide them with the life someone else photoshops onto social media or splashes across Tik-Tok. You are only required to do the best you can.

Parenting is not a competition. Either with your neighbor or your partner. It’s a marathon that starts with the first cry and doesn’t end until your last breath.

Enjoy all the moments. The big ones and the little ones.

Celebrate the victories. Comfort each other in the losses.

And most of all: Forgive Yourself.

For being human. For being imperfect. For learning as you go.

I learned so many things from my mom, even though I didn't always agree or follow her advice. I have tried to teach and be an example to my daughters, even though they haven't always agreed or followed my advice.

Consistency and communication are vital. Acceptance fits right in there too.

My Hopeful Moms, it is my goal for you today to give yourself a break. Not just a physical one, but an emotional one.

Don't judge your life by someone else's Facebook cover.

Forgive yourself. Love yourself. Believe in yourself.

And have a:

Happy Mother's Day

And always...

Hope With Abandon

Hope Out

www.hopeboulevard.com